Where to go?

Yes, i am writing this without anything in mind for tomorrow. Like any other normal people, they would be going to work, school or do something awesome. Well not for me! Juggling my career every now and then for the 7th time. It has been a learning experience for my career to understand what i have done and experienced. Programming is something i am still interested about but after working on these static-progress projects and met some odd managers, i can honestly say that interest of mine is sadly moving away. Mostly I worked on these products alone, from planning, designing, coding and publishing. I have understood the aspect of managing and pushing more features for a mobile product. I've been to a team of Android developers of 3 (only once), yet we are just maintaining things, not really collaborating to innovate something and see that being used into our product. Right now i still wish that day will come. A technical manager that will help you learn new things and listens to you when he/she doesn't know something, and be proud of his team's effort. A vibrant, active workplace yet everyone gets things done. I guess i am only saying what i want, yet probably i was hoping for all of these to happen. Those assumptions are something i will not think of this time.  

A good thought maybe sacrificing one or many of your lifestyles, it will be hard yet doing this will open up different possibilities for your life. To some, a complete change of you.  Many of us will expect things, the way we wanted it to be, but not take into account what is it that you really like to do.  This year I entered my 6th yr being a programmer-mobile (yes i know i am still young). Still i maybe forcing myself to do something i think i may want.  We'll see where i will be heading this time ;-)

Choose the right decisions carefully and you will live your life happier, these came from acceptance and contentment in your Life.

A Child's Dream Machine

Back in the old days, when i first had my desktop computer which was 2 months before i graduate Computer Science way back in 2008, yes financially we only spend on things we really need so i decided not to force my parents to buy me one. That i decided to do things on paper and in computer shops when i was doing my bachelor's degree. Anyway the feeling of owning one back then was really awesome, nowadays i think it will be just normal.  

Technology is always fast and getting different, whether it is a computer or a phone. But most of us only think of what we want, somehow that makes us fulfilled. Moving on to our post, after sometime earning things on my own, i saved enough to get a Mac Book Pro and yes, i chose that expensive piece of machine just for the sake of learning how things go in the Mac, i really don't know why that price tag though LOL (still the same feeling when i bought my first ever machine, couldn't believe i have this). Well still im on the top of the line when i bought that, unlike before MBP's are getting cheaper and people have a lot to choose with the same specs or higher but with a cheaper price tag. But Apple has this effect with a lot of people specially with the iPhones, i really don't know hehehe is it because it is White ? (the black one is cheaper).  My opinion is because they are fast, efficient, elegant looking and yes simple but expensive.

Still Apple Laptops are the top of the line when it comes to portability back then, but as a child (ish) i ended up i guess everyone , with this machine called Alienware which was sleek and contains all the baddest specs out there, on top of that it can handle almost everything. Again the price is enough for you to buy a second hand car in the Philippines. Alienware i think is not fully available in the Philippine market (I don't know now) since MBP's are more popular for the majority.  I am blessed that i was able to save some to get this machine at my age hehehe, now owning my 2nd laptop (3rd computer, my Desktop is still alive and fast, programmers are good in maintaining them) . So the problem was first i wanted to play games, that my MBP only supports some. So i decided (impulsively? i really don't know ~_* ) to buy this. I present to you my dream machine.... (i can say i have that 3rd awesome feeling from my first encounter in owning a computer, damn it feels great!)

If you're thinking about the specs : Alienware M14x (R2)

OS: Windows 8 (decided to try this just like one of my reason from buying an MBP)
Processor: i7 up to 3.8 Turbo boost @2.8Ghz
Memory: 16gb
Harddrive: 1TB
Video Card: NVIDIA GT650M 2GB, Intel HD 2GB
the rest can be seen on their website(the last time i check they removed it, but check the highest price tag machine from 14inch and add these specs of mine you'll get what the rest are)

Getting something from what you've been working for (not coming from your parents pocket) is a feeling of fulfillment and personal satisfaction, aside from helping others sometimes it is damn good to give some for yourself ;-) 

Painfully Awesome

It has been 2 months since i moved here in Singapore for work. Every place i've been to before were all different, but Singapore's great attractions to all culture and its people are amazingly important to everyone trying to visit the Lion.  It was a rough start, but i somehow managed to get along with all the hardships upon moving here and taking the opportunity to work and live here. So far i think i am doing quite okay, that i do have a good job, i have some friends here and i am still meeting interesting people along the way. For me Singapore is a place where the Asian community meet, this is a place of rich culture and tradition of various nationalities. You can eat different cuisine whether it is Japanese, Chinese, Malay, Indonesian, Indian, Thai and even Filipino foods are everywhere. Of course the old western foods will always be around. I have never seen and tasted these kind of foods elsewhere in my life so far Singapore does that.

Unfortunately i do live in a far place not even near to my office location, so i had to travel for almost an hour. But it is more convenient than riding a jeep or a bus back in my hometown. Nevertheless you know things are organized and proper when it comes to transportation here in Singapore. Shopping malls are also in every MRT station or near to it somehow, so i know a lot of people here do shopping or it is their past time, or other will travel to nearby countries which is also awesome when you have the time and money.  I have stood to different grounds in my life and as i entered Singapore i told myself i might have a change of lifestyle so to speak, that the life i had back in Gibraltar was different compare to Singapore.

Some friends of mine here in Singapore already taught me things about the do's and don't's of living here. But i think some are still in question on how would you understand things not just for Singapore but for yourself as a way of life. One night a friend of mine was holding a leaflet about martial arts, and i took a glance at that paper and suddenly took it from him, i told myself this looks interesting for myself to do it here in Singapore and it was a long time idea when i was a kid to try one of those, but never had the chance. So me and my friend did went to the academy which is the best Asian MMA Gym - Evolve Mixed Martial Arts. The place is well groomed and the people are amazing, as i see them train hard with the world champion instructors teaching you techniques and the right attitude to grow fast.  I told myself i would focus on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu since i know that things are much more interesting when you are really in contact with an opponent and you would struggle to escape and somehow win that respect. But Evolve also offers like Muay Thai, Wrestling, FightShape etc.

Unfortunately my friend did not have the time from work to get into more trainings for Evolve so i was the only one left to enroll and did spent some really good amount of money. I know this will change my life and I will learn new things apart from the challenges of life. I focused more on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and i must say it is really challenging and fun, much respect should be given to people training for these discipline. Speaking of which that is one of my goals to redeem back Self-discipline and proper motivation. As i trained 4 times or 5 times including FightShape and at least try to attend Muay Thai per week. I did sacrifice working out in the gym for me to really focus on Martial Arts, more importantly BJJ. It was a challenging, embarrassing, disappointing,fulfilling yet very fun first month for me that i learned really great things and met new set of friends. Sparring or rolling as we call it gives you the right amount of challenge that you know you would lose or win if you did not do that right decisions you must remember and somehow apply for you to get that goal.  Last week i was promoted receiving my first stripe as a white belt in BJJ under Renzo Gracie from my professor Leandro "Brodinho" Issa.

I had that simple smile while moving towards my professor and he was putting on the stripe that my BJJ friends gave me the laughter and a bit of belt slapping after the training that's how we acknowledge hardships we passed in our diverse circle of friends back in the academy. I can say that It was purely hard work for the first month (off to work travelling from there to academy, training hard - gaining bruises;cranks, going home late, doing the laundry for my Gi, eating late if there is food or cook for one then sleep really late and do it the next day if my body permits). I think BJJ taught me in my first month of learning zero background in martial arts that life is like this: you get something that you will have that simple smile because you know if you really work hard and sacrifice the right things you will still feel like a winner and losing for me now is just synonymous to "Learning" . In the end you are the only one that can help yourself when things doesn't get easy.  

Back to Asia

It's been a while since i left a great job back in Europe in the land of Gibraltar. Missed my old friends there, specially the gang. Hope i can visit them soon. Most of the people around me thought i was crazy leaving the place and everything else from there. Probably i did made a mistake, a pride that took my emotions. But here I am, again working my way to whatever lies ahead of time. But this time setting aside that 'pride'.

Right now I am still settling in Singapore, where i should say loving the foods hehehe, but most of all i have a job. My work is quite different to what i used to do and honestly been working for nearly 3 weeks now and yes it is the same old, same old developers that started the project then made a mess, without any kindness to the next developer, in fact more crazy hehehe. Hence, i am doing things with all my knowledge to the team and the company. I will do iOS soon enough wow! and fixing their bugs eventually.

As today i am doing okay, not good nor bad, happy enough to see so many diverse Asian culture around me, hope i can go and step into that path i am thinking.

Ok le! (Singaporean style)

No stopping at any time

After almost a year, decided to try and pursue a career outside the Philippines, i found myself thinking if i did things i know consciously or did i just let my emotional side take over? Leaving the Philippines for you to have a greater job will take you to that pain process into the POEA stuff that i can say is not needed(provided in a much faster way) and i heard people in the airport and some are asking these helpless people for some money so that they can leave the Philippines easily instead of taking the painful process in POEA(that is another story i guess).  Nevertheless, i feel fine and gaining a lot of my enthusiasm to make something cool soon since i am back here in my home country. I've seen a lot of things in the countries i've visited, experience great things i can't find somewhere else and most importantly gain great friends along the way. I wouldn't compare things from there since i know we have a lot to do in our own country, we need to believe at least to our own skills,help others from what we know and let the filipinos have their ideas get heard and soon be developed. It is just a matter of starting once and trusting wholeheartedly. 

Although salaries abroad are far greater than here but we do have the same things in common in terms of skills and the like, probably some we do excel more.  The big difference is their government and the people within it. I should also say their money has a lot more value than others. Before leaving i am hyped up and very much interested in their industry but I have my bad start and slowly fighting my way to cope with it, unfortunately i found things rather difficult to adapt in the later stages and told myself it's about time for me to move on. It's been two months since i stopped working and now getting a lot of interviews/phone calls and Skype calls here and abroad but haven't found something yet. I can say it is rather radical to accept things quickly from where i've been through things i experienced and people i met.  Working abroad literally has no difference but their culture and upbringing will change things. 

Enough said, right now i'm building up myself now to prepare things back here in the Philippines since i cannot say where and when will i get back working my way on finding again what would be my goal these days. Things change, people change and i can say i did change... in a much better way. 

Look for FULFILLMENT, not Happiness

Living in a life from you are influenced to do from what you wanted is hard, but disrespecting you while living on it is worst. We often times think life as something that we just need to choose, but in my opinion we only live with it when you wanted it. Making a difference in this world is something that always amazes me. Unfortunately people tend to copy things and don't develop more, thus standards are made and at some point this is effective but when used in a wrong manner will definitely collapse at the end.

With regards to a job, it means that the job earns you a paycheck which allows you to pay the mortgage or rent, put food on the table, buy clothes, etc. The job is the means to get money; the end is what you want or need to buy with the money.

If you're lucky, you work at a job you love and money is a plus something like you can say "Wow i still don't believe i am earning to do this ! ". However, for a lot of people, the job is just a source of money. Sometimes, that should be enough, especially when the alternative is no job and no money coming in.

I can say i am the latter, i honestly said that phrase before but as time goes by you will find somethings around you that will change all of that. That is the time you will find a new interest that eventually after working for some time you will like it and in the long run loving it. Then again you may say that phrase unknowingly. 

A lot of people waste a lot of time trying to find a career/purpose that will truly make them happy. But the problem with this is that happiness is such a vague concept. You can be happy eating ice cream, or happy for buying some game consoles. Those things might give you temporary enjoyment, but they really don’t get down to the core of it. You can be “happy” without being fulfilled and sadly we are just fine with this. Right now, realizing things i had been to was far from over and i am still seeking that fulfillment every time i wanted to do something. 

You can do things that you won’t necessarily feel happy about doing before you do it. But when you’re done, you feel fulfilled. Or it can be the opposite. You can be totally excited about it, but not really comfortable that you’re doing it. If you want to wake up excited and passionate about your life, you have to choose fulfillment over comfort.

I left 4 companies in the past trying to look for something i think will change my perspective, moved to another country that helped me a lot about my perception to different walks of life. Met really cool friends that will always be there for you and traveled to countries i have never imagine i will one day see. I couldn't thank them more from all the great things they taught me about understanding the other side of life. From all these i guess life changes you as a whole from all those experiences but the thought of what you want/need still remains and somehow you are trying to look for these things out there still in your head waiting to be implemented. Weighing them in the way that a new thing comes up and clouds your judgement again from the previous. We need to choose and stand from what we needed to fulfill or at least you have interest with and at that moment we can finally continue the way we always see our life.

At the end of the day you can ask yourself not about what makes you happy but,

" What makes you fulfilled about living your life ? "

Mystery

The purpose of relationship (and perhaps all of life) is to practice the loving.  No partner is going to be 100% perfect anyway, so learn to appreciate people for what they have to offer, not what they don’t.  And love them for that.  That’s what real loving is.

Nobody’s asking to lower your standards here; you should still spend time only with worthwhile company.  But do question the standards to see whether they’re serving you or you’re serving them.

When you open your heart to love, you may find fulfillment in ways you never imagined possible — like the day you tried sushi or beer in spite of your trepidation, found it surprisingly alright, and expanded your personal envelope of pleasure.  

Taking that into consideration, given a choice between happy-go-lucky and picky-but-lonely, happy sounds like more fun. - Ali Binazir.