A Semi-Charmed Life: Mike's Journey

Learning things from scratch ...

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Last SMS?

In the past days, I have been honest to the person I have fallen to... my best friend.

It wasn't an easy thing to say, having said that we were not face to face, but I knew that was the right time to say these things, to which I knew she will be confused and shocked. As days go by, seems like everything was just fine, we were chatting just like the usual, but maybe there is now a thing that somehow makes the situation awkward for both of us.

She tried to be civil about it, and I was glad that she did. I'm not ignorant about feelings any more, I have been hurt and loved that you will understand the difference. From that moment I have told myself, was my decision to tell her everything really destroys the bond between us? Was it just her feelings that I was being confused? Does she just wants me to be distance and understand that all I am was just that friend who will be there whenever she needed someone the most? I really couldn't tell the difference. All I know is I have fallen for her, and I couldn't miss a day not to wait for her messages about the day she went through, funny stories and the happy days between us. Things should change, and I know she did change my perspective, I hope she wasn't the woman I have seen for a lot of people I know. She's smart and strong-willed, I know she'll be fine with whatever decisions she will make.

Today I have sent a message, a message I couldn't hide any more. I know she's still confused and don't know what to say... and I fully understand her.

Hi good evening, I just wanted to say thank you for being that person I have admired, I thought I will never have those feelings after so many years. It was great to have you and tell things inside and out just by being me. I have fallen for you that it gives me a great sense of feeling of loving that someone again. You deserve someone that truly understands you, I know I can't say you'll feel the same way but if you do, you know I'm just a smile away. Thank you and I'm very happy for the woman you've become.

This was the SMS I have sent to her, I guess I have given her my last few words as a loving person to my best friend or someone that I wanted to share my happiness and failures in life. I miss you and wishing you the best of days of happiness and success in life.

Love, Pakners.

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